Goodbye Facebook...

Yes, that's right... I have committed facebook suicide. I "deactivated" my book of faces about 2 weeks ago, and I have never been more productive! That is a blatant lie. The theory in my mind was: "It's becoming increasingly pathetic the amount of time I spend reading inane updates from people I don't care enough about to actually call on the phone... I bet if I no longer had a facebook, I would be WAY more productive in other aspects of my life." It turns out, I am EQUALLY as UNPRODUCTIVE as I was before quitting facebook!

Well, that's not entirely true... I have been slightly more productive... at... ONLINE SCRABBLE! Ya, that's right... I'm pretty much turning into a scrabble champion, one triple word score at a time. I realize these extremely sexy details about my life are titillating for the 3 people that read this blog.

Anywayzzz...

I'm starting to have an adverse reaction to the overly public, "look at me look at me," generation I'm in cahoots with. And yes, I see the irony that I'm posting about my overly public generation, on a public blog. However, there is something to be said about the level at which we're all whoring ourselves out... over the internet, and in real-life. I subscribe to the philosophy that we all just want to be heard... noticed... have our existence on this planet acknowledged. I'm just not sure how I feel about that philosophy coming to fruition via a twitter update relaying the message that you just watered your garden, and you're going to go take a shower now. I think it's pretty clear that NO ONE GIVES A FUCK THAT YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER! Unless of course, you've got a webcam in your shower, and this step in your day is part of your "online modeling" career... if so, by all means, tweet away.

However, if you're one of the other 50 million assholes updating your status with obsolete details about your mundane existence, please SHUT THE HELL UP! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are obnoxious, caustic, and contributing to the massive amount of BULLSHIT currently clogging about 98% of the internet. I know what you're thinking: "Fuck you Bridgette! People care about what I have to say... I matter... I'm talented... I'll be contributing useful things to the world soon... just you wait and see! Stop being a bitter bitch and get over yourself."

Good point alternate version of my personality! But let's not mix facts with the fantasy in your head... Anyone you think "cares" or replies to your tedious status updates, 9 times out of 10, just wants to sleep with you, or, alternately, wants to whore themselves out via your facespace... Bottom line is, you DON'T matter. You're most likely not that talented, and you won't be "contributing" anything to the world other than the hollow shell of lies you call a "personality," which is actually a collection of poorly regurgitated Dane Cook parodies mixed with philosophical ramblings from the Psyc. 101 class you failed last year at (insert city name here) community college. I'm not bitter, but I am a bitch... and i'll "get over" myself just as soon as you STOP announcing your to do list on the internet!!!

This rant doesn't just apply to the no-name nobodies either... I'm an equal opportunity hater. I don't care the same amount, no matter WHO you are; even if you *gasp* actually contribute positively to society... You still need to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Seriously... we're living in the most amazing time right now. The technology we have supersedes country lines, ocean expanses, language barriers, and so on... We can talk to anyone, anywhere in the world. In seconds, with a few key strokes, we can find answers to questions that, 20 years ago, you would have to research in a library for hours. Information is like oxygen, and instead of taking even the slightest advantage of that, we're using these amazing tools to post photos of ourselves at flattering angles in order to get 50 soulless comments from "friends" we haven't actually talked to in years, all bullshitting different variations of "omg you're so hot/sexy/pretty/cute etc..."

And I'm no fucking different... I too live in conflict and contradiction. I posted the same photos, looking for validation from people I have no real connection to, or concern for. So I had to stop it. I had to end the bullshit cycle because it was making me nauseous. And I realized that I was spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about, and caring about, and wondering about all these people that I didn't really know... or care to get to know for that matter. 

Facebook had turned me into an angry stalker. I was angry that all these people led boring lives, or were Über pretentious tech nerds, or art nerds, or simply HUGE ASSHOLES. I was even more angry that I COULDN'T STOP REFRESHING MY NEWS FEED! I was annoyed, but couldn't log off! I was in an abusive relationship with facebook, and I had to end it before someone got hurt. 

(Insert Dramatic Break-up Scene Here)

Yes, I know. I have issues. But this isn't about me... this is about you, and them, and everyone who's ever tweeted or updated their fbook with, "MMM... coffee in the morning is the best!" or, "I love eating lunch with my friends!" SHUT UP... WE FUCKING GET IT ALREADY. 

How about you tweet something legit, something interesting, like you're partnering with a Ugandan charity to raise money for KIDS WHO ARE STARVING TO DEATH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET? Fucking do something! Something REAL... something GOOD... something THAT MATTERS! I'm not saying we all have to save the planet and attach our greedy mugs to Al Gore's balls or anything, but I AM saying that we need to stop taking pictures of ourselves in public bathrooms, and we need to use our influence for something other than fodder for narcissistic masturbation fantasies. 

I don't want to live in a world where everyone has their own youtube channel. I don't want to live in a gapping hole of over-exposure and "acidental" crotch shots. I desperately want to believe we're better than that... Humanity HAS to be better than that. I want to live in a world where everyone wants to help each other make this planet better... environmentally, socially, politically. I want to live in a world where good ideas are heard, and then put into action by like-minded individuals. I want to live in a world where skanky super-sluts and Ed Hardy toting mega-douches are shot in the face and imprisoned for their transgressions on society. I want to live in a world where Jersey Shore is taken on off the air due to lack of interest and poor ratings. 

But alas... I have simply created a fantasy here, and my dreams of it every coming to fruition are about as likely as MTV actually playing a music video... But haaaay... whateverzzz right? I fucking love Snooki just as much as you, and I'll be taking high angled pouty lip bathroom pics later this evening too... I'm sure i'll have a facebook relapse in the next few weeks, and before you know it, I'll be updating you all on my love of coffee and showers... 

Come on now... Nothing ever changes out of complacency... Nothing ever changes with glaze over our eyes. This easy ride only breeds complainers... not changers. 

How many super-stars can you name that've come from great families in middle-class suburbs? Great art, great change, and great things come from the bowels of despair. Pain might just be the greatest motivator... 

Because, why should you care? Why should you care about starving African children? Or little girls being raped by American tourists in Cambodian brothels? You can't see it. You can't feel it, and unless you regularly reach out for an international newspaper, you won't hear about it. 

Out of site, out of mind. 

Out of words, out of time.

love you mean it.