This time however... I have a legit excuse as to why my blog entries have become so sparse....
*Drum Roll Please*
I MOVED TO AUSTIN, TX!
Not only did I move to Austin, Tx, but I fucking drove there
from California... San Francisco, California no less. For the record,
that's a motherfucking long-ass drive. I would NOT recommend driving
that far, unless you're really into road-trips. I am only 'minorly'
into road-trips, and this particular one made me appreciate the
invention of "the plane," in ways you can't imagine.
Planes are fucking bad-ass. Thousands of miles can be traveled
in mere hours. Oceans crossed in the span of a nap; all while floating
through the atmosphere in a giant metal bird. I want my own plane! That
would be sick, but it would also make me SUUUUUPER lazy. I would travel
by plane everywhere... To the grocery store... To the the fancy dress
store... To the liquor store... To pretty much any and all places I
frequent, I would no doubt use the plane as my main source of transportation...
"Hmm... 10 minutes to CVS by car... OR 30 SECONDS BY PLANE!?!?"
Saving 9.5 minutes several times a day would add up, let me
tell you. I could accumulate whole years of what would have been wasted
driving time, if I only used my plane. I guess the obvious problem with
this newfangled idea of mine, would be, where would I park my plane?
I've thought about it, and decided that I just wouldn't park it. The logical solution to this conundrum would obviously be, to circle above whatever store I needed to go to, and propel
out of the plane via a rope and harness. Once my shopping was complete,
I would belay myself back on board, and be off to my next destination.
I know what you're thinking: "Wow Bridgette, you have it all figured out!"
I know, and it's true... Sometimes I'm such a genius, I blow my
own mind. I bet Jay Leno feels the same way right now... I bet Jay Leno
has a plane too! Fuck, I need to find Jay Leno and become his biggest
fan and maybe he'll give me his plane so all my wildest dreams will
come true. I think he only has like 3 fans left anyway, so being #1
shouldn't be too difficult.
Move over Kanye... There's a new douche in town!
love you mean it.
